My Heart Beats - Atty. Ed Cedro

For a man whose life has been about excellence of the mind, being in touch with the heart would be a herculean feat.  Atty. Ed Cedro, or Brother Ed as he wanted to be called, was that kind of man.  Born under the tutelage of parents who were both disciplinarians, he describes a typical day as fulfilling duties and responsibilities listed by his parents on a piece of paper. "'Kung di kami bumabangon sa oras, binubuhusan kami ng malamig na tubig' (If we don’t wake up on the scheduled time, our parents would throw cold water on us)."   It is this kind of upbringing that made him the person that he is: disciplined, firm, goal-oriented, and driven.  As we were conversing, he recalled something his father would always tell them. "'Wag mo dudungisan ang pangalan ko' (Do not, under any circumstances, taint my name)."  This motivated him to be a man of excellence in all fields.  From being a student who had an educational history littered with awards and recognition, to being a distinguished accountant turned lawyer, add to that an upstanding Christian front, he was everything a religious man would want to be…except that behind the front of his awards and 'Christianity' came a lifestyle full of sin.  As a lawyer, he studied and maintained the law as best as he could; but as a disciple he had a lawless, self-willed heart.

On March 5, 2008, this lawless heart had a scheduled operation, both literally and figuratively, and his surgeon would be none other than God Himself.  Bro. Ed, in the middle of a court hearing, felt a shooting pain in his chest.  He asked to be excused, but was allowed by the judge only if he would go straight to a nearby health center.  When he got there, what he thought was a minor lung problem was in fact a heart attack.  He was immediately brought to the hospital and before passing out, he saw a bright light. "'Di pa ko handa!' (I’m not ready for this!)," was his prayer. Hours later, he woke up in a hospital room and felt another stinging pain only for a second, and then numbness.  Reaching out for food he tried to move but his limbs failed him. "'Dun ko nalaman ang kundisyon ko: yung kalahati ng puso ko hindi na tumitibok.' (That’s when I realized the gravity of my condition: half of my heart was no longer functioning)."  Bro. Ed was paralyzed from the neck down.  A man like him who had placed tremendous effort in developing his mind, who placed emphasis on being the best, the brightest, and most excellent in the academic field, was at that time helpless, and worst of all, his mind could not help him.

His sister, who was a devout Christian and also a missionary, would always pray for him at his bedside.  At times she would read the Bible to him and they would pray together.  Slowly, his 'heart' was beginning to respond to the words and prayers that he heard, and at one point he rededicated his life to Jesus and lifted his condition to His will and purposes.  After 14 days, this commitment was challenged once again.  News was given about another surgery to fix his heart.  The surgery would allow his heart to beat 100%; however, it was a risky procedure and he might lose his life in the process.  He did.  In the middle of the procedure his heart failed and flat-lined.  While dead he could hear the people around him as they talked.  He could hear the doctors talking amongst themselves, discussing ways to revive his heart.  He could hear the instructions given to the nurses and staff in the operating room.  But one distinct voice made an impact during this time.  The doctors spoke to his sister.  They were asking her if she would let him go.  In a calm tone, she replied, "Tapusin natin yung operation' (Let’s finish the operation); then let’s allow God to decide if he will live or not."  With this the doctor proceeded with the operation, and when it was over Bro. Ed was miraculously revived.

His sister did not leave his side.  Even when he was comatose, he would hear his sister praying and reading the Bible to him, until one day he was able to regain consciousness. "This heart is not mine," he said with conviction.  From that point on, he lived his life according to the Word.  He began to volunteer and became a legal adviser for Lighthouse Prisons Ministry, where he does free legal advising and preaches every once in a while.  He now also supports his sister in missions, and he also teaches his family to do the same.  But more than the outward expression of Christianity, the change in his heart was his biggest blessing. "I became a lawyer because I was also oppressed, and I thought I would fight back using the law.  My being an intellectual led me astray from God’s tug in my heart.  The heart attack was more than a wake up call—it is both an expression of God’s justice and more importantly His love for me."  He says this ordeal turned his heart of stone to a heart of flesh that is now responsive to God’s words and calling.

Albert Einstein once wrote, "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."  Becoming a real intellectual is not limited to a pragmatic understanding of our environment and society.  Bro. Ed’s testimony is proof that the mind can only go so far.  At one point we have to surrender ourselves to an even greater aspect of living, and that is being subject to Jesus’ grace in the small to the monumental details of our lives.  While the doctors were pining away, working on Bro. Ed’s physical heart, God was working on his soul; changing him to become the man who goes beyond intellect, a man experiencing the grace of living and being loved by God.

Writer: Jarett Pulido; Photo: Gerard Gudes